I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
