She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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