we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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