I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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