Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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