So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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