yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
