In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
