the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
