This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
