i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
