Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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