I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
