The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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