exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
