Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
