Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I wish there were birth control emojis
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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