went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
where does the pee come out of this thing
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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