Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
