I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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