my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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