If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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