An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
