A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Randomize