just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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