is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
