I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize