Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
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