so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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