You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I met the friendliest cop last night
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
