soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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