I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
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