Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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