like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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