you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize