1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize