I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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