She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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