wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
