After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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