You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
