It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
