he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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