I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
