There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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