you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
