so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Randomize
