lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize