I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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