So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
