May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
