Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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