so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
