Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Randomize
