she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
