I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
