You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize