Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
