The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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