I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
It was confusing and full of hummus
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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