Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
