sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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