I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
