Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
