I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
