Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
